Man-o-meter

Apropå mode så är Patrick Hellmann en av de hetaste unga modeskaparna just nu. Med ett par väl valda adresser i ömsom Berlin och Moskva (och snart London och Dubai) blir man serverad ett läckert urval av den "Neue Maskulinität". Det känns nästan som Nils Dardels "Den Döende Dandyns" ande vilar över showroomet på Fasanenstrasse i Berlin. Mycket dekadent, lite hästsport, svala damer, inrökta väggpaneler i svärtad Rio-palisander och ett överflöd av Lalique kristall (PH är f.ö. exklusiv agent för Lalique i Tyskland och Ryssland...passande nog) . Hellmann är också interiörarkitekt vilket syns, då man verkligen har tänkt på allt när det gäller presentationen.

Man möts av "urläckra" (och flörtiga) män i entrén som likt bodyguards (med sina små hörsnäckor) snabbt ser till att man hamnar rätt i butiken, om det så är i skorummet eller för att bli måttad för en kostym på andra våningen. Signaturen är en grovt broderad dödskalle...hehe
Har man tur så kommer Patrick själv och möter en i rökrummet där man också får en kyld prosecco till manchettknapparna.

Bland alla vackra kläder och objekt finner man till exempel en tobaksburk i äkta silver från Christofle (who else..) och de handgjorda skjortorna formligen glider ner på ens kropp. Det är en annorlund form för lyx - bortom skandalhypade handväskor â la Paris Hilton stuket, och definitivt så långt bort man kan komma från Armanis numera föråldrade "black-label". Man tar avstånd från glassiga annonskampanjer och låter word by mouth faktorn spela en stor roll, vilket är helt rätt.

På samma sätt känner man igen influenserna från Fransk Art-Deco, blandat med lite Brittisk gentlemanskupé på Orientexpressen - och sist men inte minst Ryska maffian med en eventuell balthora på höften. Mycket elitistiskt, men också mycket vackert och definitivt extremt väl genomfört.

Som grädde på moset så finns Patrick Hellmanns kollektion också för barn, för att ge dem den där extra ondskefulla framtoningen. Det finns väl inget mer irriterande än en lillgammal snorunge som dessutom kan krypa ner i pappas plånbok och se ut precis som pappas verkställande direktör....

Snart kommer också Patrick Hellmann som parfym och hudvårdsserie...man lovar en blandning av Marockanskt 50'tal och Engelsk Saville Row tradition. Can't wait....Oh Dear..!

Perreo, baby, perreo!

Det går trender i killar precis som i allt annat. Förra året var det nördar och fula killar som var inne, men just nu ser jag överallt tecken på att det är latinokillar som är hetaste trenden. Kanske är det bara sommarvädret i kombination med hedonistisk reggaeton, men den coolaste bögen idag är en papi chulo. När jag hade ett gardenparty nyligen var det mitt tema och jag klädde mig därefter med tight linne och tunn latinoskjorta. Rosenkransen hittade jag dessvärre inte, men det var en tänkt accessoar.

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Månadens papi i en tidskrift för latinobögar

När René Vazques Días i sitt sommarprogram berättade om sin morbror Juan Díaz, aka Johnny Day, beskrev han prototypen för en papi. Cool, vild och skamlös. Johnny var killen som förförde kvarterets alla killar, stal från dem och levde för att dansa. I fängelset, där han sonade sina brott och småskojerier, träffade han sin stora kärlek – En man med stora tatueringar och sorgsna ögon. På 80-talet, när Castro i ett försök befria landet från kontrarevolutionära element tömde fängelserna och skeppade såväl brottslingar som dissidenter till Miami, visade Johnny sin patriotiska sida när han inte ville lämna Kuba: "Jag är tjuv och bög, men framförallt Kuban" sa han. Men han åkte till slut ändå, i hopp om att kunna gifta sig med sin tatuerade kille. En papi är i sin extrema heteronormativitet – macho, katolsk och traditionellt romantisk – ovanligt queer.

För mig är det förstås lätt att följa just detta mode, men såvida du inte är en allt för blek svenne kan du också haka på trenden. Sola ordentligt så du blir brun, på med linne, eller uppknäppt skjorta, eller bar bringa. Vira ett radband med hängande kors runt handleden samt håll ständigt en joint mellan fingrarna och om du är riktigt ambitiös kan du fixa några gängtatueingar och/eller en pitbullterrier. Lägg dig sedan bland barnfamiljerna på stranden eller i parken och hångla med din kille (Absolut inga blondiner eller blekfisar, såå ute!). Därefter caliente dans på klubben. ¡Muèvelo papi!

Matorgasm

Ikväll gjorde jag tortilla española...Så jävla gott! Åt den med soltorkade tomater och oliver. Men alltså, till tapas vill man ju ha något gott att dricka så jag korkade upp min pojkväns ekologiska vin. Sorry älskling! Men det var underbart...Kall tortilla med kylt vitt vin...Potatisens mandelsmak, lökens sötma, de salta tomaterna och vinets toner av mineral och päron...Åh, vilken njutning.

Litterära samtal i sommarhettan

Vid de sällsynta tillfällena som Stockholmsmänniskorna kommer ner till Skåne får man tillfälle att visa lite sydsvensk gästfrihet. På Tempo: Ika Johannesson provar en chorizotallrik men blir inte mätt. Alla rätter är mellanrätter och alldeles för små. In kommer gnocchi, balsamicobrässerade rödbetor med getost, friterad polenta och annat. Jag och Caroline Ringskog Ferrada-Noli tuggar på några brödbitar, salami och ost. Hennes look är lite Viña del Mar ca 1979, inte flärd men fräschör. "Du håller på med en bok, va? Erkänn!" säger hon med en liten bönformad oliv mellan tänderna.

Björn af Kleen har varit på Österlen och pratat med Björn Ranelid. "Har någon läst honom?" Bara jag och Caroline, men alla hade en uppfattning ändå. "Hans prosa är som fett.", sa en. "Kväljande sött", sa en annan. "Det är en tillgjord stil med enda syftet att få mameluckerna att dallra på tanterna" sa jag. Litterära diskussioner är alltid som lättsammast bland kulturjournalister.

Värmen är tryckande och jag känner frisyren smälta. All hårdvax och spray ger till sist vika. Efter fjärde flaskan Toscanskt vin lämnar jag sällskapet. När jag kommer hem nästa morgon ligger nycklarna på golvet och boken "Mitt namn ska vara Stig Dagerman" på sekretären. Inskriptionen i manierad snirklig kaligrafi lyder: "Från en Björn till en annan. Kivik 15 juli år 2006." Versalerna spretar åt alla håll som rocailler.

Masturbate-A-Thon 2006

Att runka i England är likställt annan "alternativ kultur"...Följ länken till Masturbate-A-Thon som går av stapeln i London den 5 Augusti. Jag måste bara dela med mig av "instruktionerna" [nedan], det är där man märker att man är i England.....jag skrattar fortfarande. Kanske ens mest "personliga" - kategoriserat, reglerat, avvägt, inringat och katalogiserat. Nån som kommer ihåg Terry Gillian's "Brazil"....
As they say "cum and go"..... :-D

"What to expect at the Masturbate-a-Thon.
First you'll find the door at 398 11th St near Harrison St. It is directly across the street from Glass Block Design company, which is next door to the DNA Lounge. The door person will check your ID (18 and over ONLY), and then you can proceed upstairs to the second floor. At the main door please present your pledge sheet. If you are pledged, entry is free. If you are not pledged, your entry fee is $20.00 (more is fine) and you must fill out a pledge sheet with some amount pledged per minute. (That is, you will be pledging yourself at a minimum of $20 if you have not arranged for someone else to pledge you. If you wish to pledge yourself for more than $20, it's fine... in fact, it is encouraged!) We ask that you wear clothing (or lack thereof) that you feel sexy and comfortable in; we provide a secure clothes check and a dressing area. Only event attendees may enter the dressing area.
If you just want to watch there is a watching area with chairs. You are allowed access to the toilet area and the food lounge. Watching is $50.00, and there is limited seating. Why is watching more than the basic entry fee? Simple! It's National Masturbation Month, and we wish to encourage masturbation!
There are four general areas for attendees: Women, Men, Everybody (that is, Mixed/All Gender) and Stage. After checking your street clothes, find your place in the room. The single-gender areas are, obviously, only for people who identify themselves as that gender. The Stage area is for exhibitionists who wish to be photographed or videotaped. The people who want to go in front of any camera MUST sign a release and provide a copy of ID (no exceptions). More about the Stage and the live webcast below.
Once you are settled in we will assign a monitor to you. Any monitor we provide is trained in human sexuality and will be comfortable with any questions you may have. They are your resource for the event. They will maintain your time sheet and determine minutes for your pledgers. If you would like to be considered for the "Most Orgasms" category, be sure to tell your monitor (or bring a friend or partner to keep track for you). We provide a clean, padded enviroment with some couches and chairs. Places to lie back are all around the room. If you are gender-shy there are single-gender-only areas designated for your comfort. Fresh sheets are available for the asking. Check with your monitors.
Some food and drink will be available in the lounge. People on break are allowed primary use of the lounge area. We make an effort to provide a safe area for everyone to be there. If you become disruptive, break the posted house rules, or touch anyone without permission, you will be asked to leave. This is a no-alcohol, no-drugs event. If you need such thing to have sex you might want to examine whether you are having a problem with drugs and or alcohol. If you hope for a boost to get your nerve up, remember that you can always respect your own comfort level and participate from home. And if you were planning to try to break the time record with the help of speed, please don't. Look at all the controversy barry Bonds is dealing with right now. We'd like our sexual athletes, too, to achieve their feats naturally.
Couples ask us whether they can participate together: the answer is absolutely yes. Does this mean they can masturbate each other? Please keep that to a minimum and keep your hands primarily on yourselves. Masturbation is solo sex, and when you have your hands on your partner's genitals, that goes by another name: partner sex. If you do not wish to masturbate and are instead looking for a venue for public sex with your sweetie, ask us about those options. The Masturbate-a-Thon is about masturbation for a reason, and we want everyone who attends to help us send the message that masturbation is a positive erotic alternative, good for you, and just plain pleasurable!
About the on-line/camera portion of the event: There is a designated camera area, and only approved cameras are allowed. All cameras in use must be pointed at either the stage, the ceiling or at the operator's feet. No exceptions. NO CELL PHONES -- NO CAMERAS -- NO EXCEPTIONS. Any use of a non-approved camera (still or video) by anyone will be considered a violation of privacy and the camera operator shall be required to surrender memory for reformat or or film for open light exposure prior to the operator being ejected. We insist the general area of the floor remain safe for the public to occupy without any violations of their privacy. Anyone who wishes to be on-camera or online must sign a release for the material to the stage area staff and the producer of the material. Legal names much be used on the release, and your legal ID will be required. Your image may be used in two main ways: on our live webcast, and by members of the media who are onsite covering the Masturbate-a-Thon for their magazines, websites, TV channels, etc. These people will also have releases for your to sign. Do NOT sign a release and enter the Stage area unless you are comfortable with your image being used publicly in some way. Just for clarification: There is only one area in the room in which cameras will be in use. Please do not go in that area unless you are approved by staff at the stage desk. If you wish to be a photographer, you must be pre-approved with a letter of assignment or bring a valid press pass with you. Again -- NO EXCEPTIONS."

Ny roman om konst och bögsex.

Konstvetaren och curatorn Måns Holst-Ekström debuterar snart skönlitterärt med en roman som kombinerar Art in Storage's främsta intressen: konst och bögsex. Romanen, som förefaller vara självbiografisk (i vilken grad är öppet för spekulation än så länge), har arbetstiteln Italien och kommer att utges på Bo Cavefors förlag. Efter att ha läst utdrag verkar det mycket lovande! En vacker och ren prosa som tycks förena den samtida svenska stilen (fragmentarisk, familjär, enkel med lite staccatorytm – i min mening till fulländning utvecklad hos Mats Kolmisoppi och Sigge Eklund) och den mer ornamenterade, intellektuella stilen hos anglosaxiska författare som David Leavitt och Edmund White, dvs Henry James efterföljare i den samtida gaylitteraturen. För övrigt är Holst-Ekströms text laddad med samma melankoliska uppgivenhet som är kännetecknande för James prosa, ett slags fatalism som gestaltas genom torra konstateranden och iaktagelser av världslig skönhet. Konsten som metafor och ikon för själens längtan till renhet och upphöjelse, naturen blir bilden av dess frihetslängtan och en vacker tekopp det lilla halmstrået man griper tag i för att inte sjunka.

Ytterligare ett utdrag ur Italien kan läsas här.

Coctailparty på kolonien.

Igår var jag på min väninna Karins stora kolonilott i Lund och drack coctails. Några Gin&Tonic, en vodka cranberry, en Mojito, en vodka lemon, en Rom&Cola och en Pink Passion. Läs om det och se bilderna på Karins blogg Kolonifunderingar.

Draperi

Den bästa presenten på hela året fick jag igår: Ett nytt duschdraperi! Mitt badrum känns helt förändrat nu, mycket ljusare och fräschare. Och det bästa är att mitt slitna och lortiga draperi kanske kommer användas till ett konstverk! Tänk, mina gamla hudavlagringar har potential att hamna på ett galleri eller rent av ett museum...Coolt.

Jenny Jenny

Tänkte dra till med en av mina listor igen......
Denna gången så får Jenny Holzer bistå med sina numera ikoniska truismer..

We like Jenny.....Jenny....!














a little knowledge can go a long way
a lot of professionals are crackpots
a man can't know what it is to be a mother
a name means a lot just by itself
a positive attitude means all the difference in the world
a relaxed man is not necessarily a better man
a sense of timing is the mark of genius
a sincere effort is all you can ask
a single event can have infinitely many interpretations
a solid home base builds a sense of self
a strong sense of duty imprisons you
absolute submission can be a form of freedom
abstraction is a type of decadence
abuse of power comes as no surprise
action causes more trouble than thought
alienation produces eccentrics or revolutionaries
all things are delicately interconnected
ambition is just as dangerous as complacency
ambivalence can ruin your life
an elite is inevitable
anger or hate can be a useful motivating force
animalism is perfectly healthy
any surplus is immoral
anything is a legitimate area of investigation
artificial desires are despoiling the earth
at times inactivity is preferable to mindless functioning
at times your unconsciousness is truer than your conscious mind
automation is deadly
awful punishment awaits really bad people
bad intentions can yield good results
being alone with yourself is increasingly unpopular
being happy is more important than anything else
being judgmental is a sign of life
being sure of yourself means you're a fool
believing in rebirth is the same as admitting defeat
boredom makes you do crazy things
calm is more conductive to creativity than is anxiety
categorizing fear is calming
change is valuable when the oppressed become tyrants
chasing the new is dangerous to society
children are the most cruel of all
children are the hope of the future
class action is a nice idea with no substance
class structure is as artificial as plastic
confusing yourself is a way to stay honest
crime against property is relatively unimportant
decadence can be an end in itself
decency is a relative thing
dependence can be a meal ticket
description is more important than metaphor
deviants are sacrificed to increase group solidarity
disgust is the appropriate response to most situations
disorganization is a kind of anesthesia
don't place to much trust in experts
drama often obscures the real issues
dreaming while awake is a frightening contradiction
dying and coming back gives you considerable perspective
dying should be as easy as falling off a log
eating too much is criminal
elaboration is a form of pollution
emotional responses ar as valuable as intellectual responses
enjoy yourself because you can't change anything anyway
ensure that your life stays in flux
even your family can betray you
every achievement requires a sacrifice
everyone's work is equally important
everything that's interesting is new
exceptional people deserve special concessions
expiring for love is beautiful but stupid
expressing anger is necessary
extreme behavior has its basis in pathological psychology
extreme self-consciousness leads to perversion
faithfulness is a social not a biological law
fake or real indifference is a powerful personal weapon
fathers often use too much force
fear is the greatest incapacitator
freedom is a luxury not a necessity
giving free rein to your emotions is an honest way to live
go all out in romance and let the chips fall where they may
going with the flow is soothing but risky
good deeds eventually are rewarded
government is a burden on the people
grass roots agitation is the only hope
guilt and self-laceration are indulgences
habitual contempt doesn't reflect a finer sensibility
hiding your emotions is despicable
holding back protects your vital energies
humanism is obsolete
humor is a release
ideals are replaced by conventional goals at a certain age
if you aren't political your personal life should be exemplary
if you can't leave your mark give up
if you have many desires your life will be interesting
if you live simply there is nothing to worry about
ignoring enemies is the best way to fight
illness is a state of mind
imposing order is man's vocation for chaos is hell
in some instances it's better to die than to continue
inheritance must be abolished
it can be helpful to keep going no matter what
it is heroic to try to stop time
it is man's fate to outsmart himself
it is a gift to the world not to have babies
it's better to be a good person than a famous person
it's better to be lonely than to be with inferior people
it's better to be naive than jaded
it's better to study the living fact than to analyze history
it's crucial to have an active fantasy life
it's good to give extra money to charity
it's important to stay clean on all levels
it's just an accident that your parents are your parents
it's not good to hold too many absolutes
it's not good to operate on credit
it's vital to live in harmony with nature
just believing something can make it happen
keep something in reserve for emergencies
killing is unavoidable but nothing to be proud of
knowing yourself lets you understand others
knowledge should be advanced at all costs
labor is a life-destroying activity
lack of charisma can be fatal
leisure time is a gigantic smoke screen
listen when your body talks
looking back is the first sign of aging and decay
loving animals is a substitute activity
low expectations are good protection
manual labor can be refreshing and wholesome
men are not monogamous by nature
moderation kills the spirit
money creates taste
monomania is a prerequisite of success
morals are for little people
most people are not fit to rule themselves
mostly you should mind your own business
mothers shouldn't make too many sacrifices
much was decided before you were born
murder has its sexual side
myth can make reality more intelligible
noise can be hostile
nothing upsets the balance of good and evil
occasionally principles are more valuable than people
offer very little information about yourself
often you should act like you are sexless
old friends are better left in the past
opacity is an irresistible challenge
pain can be a very positive thing
people are boring unless they are extremists
people are nuts if they think they are important
people are responsible for what they do unless they are insane
people who don't work with their hands are parasites
people who go crazy are too sensitive
people won't behave if they have nothing to lose
physical culture is second best
planning for the future is escapism
playing it safe can cause a lot of damage in the long run
politics is used for personal gain
potential counts for nothing until it's realized
private property created crime
pursuing pleasure for the sake of pleasure will ruin you
push yourself to the limit as often as possible
raise boys and girls the same way
random mating is good for debunking sex myths
rechanneling destructive impulses is a sign of maturity
recluses always get weak
redistributing wealth is imperative
relativity is no boon to mankind
religion causes as many problems as it solves
remember you always have freedom of choice
repetition is the best way to learn
resolutions serve to ease our conscience
revolution begins with changes in the individual
romantic love was invented to manipulate women
routine is a link with the past
routine small excesses are worse than then the occasional debauch
sacrificing yourself for a bad cause is not a moral act
salvation can't be bought and sold
self-awareness can be crippling
self-contempt can do more harm than good
selfishness is the most basic motivation
selflessness is the highest achievement
separatism is the way to a new beginning
sex differences are here to stay
sin is a means of social control
slipping into madness is good for the sake of comparison
sloppy thinking gets worse over time
solitude is enriching
sometimes science advances faster than it should
sometimes things seem to happen of their own accord
spending too much time on self-improvement is antisocial
starvation is nature's way
stasis is a dream state
sterilization is a weapon of the rulers
strong emotional attachment stems from basic insecurity
stupid people shouldn't breed
survival of the fittest applies to men and animals
symbols are more meaningful than things themselves
taking a strong stand publicizes the opposite position
talking is used to hide one's inability to act
teasing people sexually can have ugly consequences
technology will make or break us
the cruelest disappointment is when you let yourself down
the desire to reproduce is a death wish
the family is living on borrowed time
the idea of revolution is an adolescent fantasy
the idea of transcendence is used to obscure oppression
the idiosyncratic has lost its authority
the most profound things are inexpressible
the mundane is to be cherished
the new is nothing but a restatement of the old
the only way to be pure is to stay by yourself
the sum of your actions determines what you are
the unattainable is invariable attractive
the world operates according to discoverable laws
there are too few immutable truths today
there's nothing except what you sense
there's nothing redeeming in toil
thinking too much can only cause problems
threatening someone sexually is a horrible act
timidity is laughable
to disagree presupposes moral integrity
to volunteer is reactionary
torture is barbaric
trading a life for a life is fair enough
true freedom is frightful
unique things must be the most valuable
unquestioning love demonstrates largesse of spirit
using force to stop force is absurd
violence is permissible even desirable occasionally
war is a purification rite
we must make sacrifices to maintain our quality of life
when something terrible happens people wake up
wishing things away is not effective
with perseverance you can discover any truth
words tend to be inadequate
worrying can help you prepare
you are a victim of the rules you live by
you are guileless in your dreams
you are responsible for constituting the meaning of things
you are the past present and future
you can live on through your descendants
you can't expect people to be something they're not
you can't fool others if you're fooling yourself
you don't know what's what until you support yourself
you have to hurt others to be extraordinary
you must be intimate with a token few
you must disagree with authority figures
you must have one grand passion
you must know where you stop and the world begins
you can understand someone of your sex only
you owe the world not the other way around
you should study as much as possible
your actions ae pointless if no one notices
your oldest fears are the worst ones

Elak bög?

Jag förefaller ha vissa imageproblem. På en fest i helgen var det en söt tjej som sa följande till mig:

Hon: Jag har faktiskt varit lite rädd för dig. Jag trodde du var en elak bög.

Jag: Men vad säger du?! Jag som är så snäll och harmlös.

Hon: Ja, men du verkade så dryg och överklassig. Jag blir lite skrämd av det.

Hur ska jag göra för att bli lite folkkär? För att min inre godhet ska lysa igenom till utsidan?

Tomte på tomter

Är det en bra idé att köpa en tomt att bygga hus på nu, när marknaden är så överhettad som den är? Snälla, ni som har erfarenhet av nya fastigheter och sånt, lämna kommentarer och tips....Jag och min arkitekt-PV håller nästan på att skriva under på ett tomtköp...var är fallgroparna?...eller är ekonomin så fantastisk nu att alla åker på guldkälke till moneyheaven för evigt? Hade hellre velat köpa en äldre fastighet i centrala Berlin och rusta upp....men vem vet, kanske Berlins "uppercrust surburbia" har en chans i framtiden?????

Ni som vet nåt, please - annars kommer jag bara att höra hur fantastiskt bra allting är, och sen sitter jag där med man, hus, trädgård, parmiddagar, hund och och och.....